Author: Higher Things

With school finally over and a summer job or college on the horizon, you may be wondering what the future holds? Here’s something to help you think about the Lord’s plans for your future! For more great articles in our quarterly magazine, subscribe to Higher Things online or a print copy of the magazine today! http://dtbl.org/2084

Rev. Rick Marrs

Before the 1800s, answering lifelong career questions was fairly straightforward for young people. Most of them did what their parents did (e.g., farming, local merchant, trade skill) or whatever apprenticeships their parents arranged for them, sometimes starting before they were teenagers.

That was true for boys, at least. Girls got married and became mothers and cooked and cleaned and milked cows. But in our diverse culture and economic system today, teenagers literally have tens of thousands of career options available to them. While having options is a blessing, having that many options can be overwhelming. Think about how easy it is to choose between two to three flavors of ice cream in your home freezer and how difficult it can be to choose between the scores of tasty options at Baskin-Robbins. Then consider how difficult your ice cream selection would be if that was going to be the only flavor you could have for ten years!

Questions, Questions
Teens realize that much hinges on their career selection. Not only will their career choice directly impact how they will spend more than 80,000 hours of their lives, but it will influence their marriage and family, their type of home and neighbors, their socioeconomic status, and the like. This process of career decision-making (and it is a process, not a one-time event) leads to many important, inter-related questions for teens:

“Should I do what I’m interested in or what I’m good at?

“Should I seek the vocation that will pay the most money, or do something I’ll be happy (yet poorer) doing?

“What if I start in one career and then change my mind?

“Who can help me make such important decisions?”

“And how does God’s will work into all this?”

Help!
Who can help? Most high schools have counselors who have been trained to know how to give career guidance to teenagers. They may introduce you to computer programs (like Discover) or inventories (like the Strong Interest Inventory or the Self- Directed Search) that can help you sort out your interests, abilities, values, and decision-making processes. Many of these programs and inventories are available to take online for a fee, but your counselors will likely be able to provide such services for no cost, and they can then help you understand the results.

One of the most helpful models used in these programs is called the Holland Hexagon. This heavily researched theory proposes that there are, broadly speaking, six categories of careers and six types of people who feel compatible with those careers. Realistic people prefer jobs in which they are doers, handling mechanical or material problems (e.g., engineers, builders, farmers, athletes). Investigative people like math and science. Artistic people like art, music, and drama as a way to express themselves. Social people like to help others (e.g., counselors, teachers, pastors). Enterprising people like to work with people also but in more persuasive modes, like business and sales, politics and law, etc. Conventional people are the organizers in life, keeping records and analyzing information (e.g., accountants, administrative assistants, etc).

Actually, all people are some combination of all six types, and nearly all jobs require some skills in all six areas, but people do tend to have two or three areas that are of greater interest to them than the others. Simply put, people who find a vocation that matches their interests and skills are generally more satisfied than those who enter a vocation that is a mismatch for them.

High school and college counselors can also help you learn to investigate career options. Most teens simply do not know how people in various occupations actually spend their time and energy. It is important to read books, articles, and Web site descriptions about various occupations. Teens can also ask to shadow adults in their work for a day. Many adults are impressed with teens who take such initiative and are intrigued by what they do.

A Word of Warning
One modest warning about some career counselors: if you are considering a church-work career, some counselors may subtly steer you away from it. My experience suggests that career counselors are not necessarily anti-church or anti-Christian, but they have subtly bought into the world’s notion that really bright people should seek after high income, high status jobs. If you make good grades and have high test scores, your counselor may suggest that a career in medicine or law or engineering would be best for you because you can make more money. If you are considering a church-work career, but they push you to consider a higher paying career, this may be your opportunity to gently and respectfully tell your counselor about the hope (and riches) in Christ that are yours (1 Peter 3:15).

What Does God Want?
And how does God’s will work in this career decision-making? Our culture would lead us to believe that career choice is only about self- fulfillment. However, young Christians should be aware that the Lord has created the infrastructure of our world’s economy. Most people’s work allows them to contribute thousands of hours of good works that God has prepared in advance for them to do (Ephesians 2:10) in order to help feed others (through farmers, truckers, grocers), to heal others (through doctors, nurses and therapists), to care for others (through administrators, counselors, social workers), to educate others (through teachers, administrators, government officials), to protect others (through police, firefighters, soldiers), to build and repair things (through manufacturers, carpenters, mechanics), to share the Gospel professionally (through pastors, DCEs, deaconesses), even to entertain and provide beauty for others (through musicians, actors, artists). These roles are what Luther called vocation, God’s calling (voca) for us all. Beyond our callings as workers, we also have callings as fathers, mothers, children, citizens, and Christians. All of these are blessings to us from God that we are called upon to balance and do as a loving response to Christ blessing us in the Gospel.

The Lord will likely NOT Facebook you or send you an e-mail telling you what profession He wants you to enter. But He will provide you, if you are looking, with a variety of possible experiences that you can then pray about and sift through to decide how you think He has gifted you and how you would like to use those gifts.

With so-called “gay marriage” once again in the news, here’s and article from the Fall 2010 issue of Higher Things magazine that will give you some wisdom and help in speaking the truth in love to someone you know that may be struggling with homosexuality.

The scariestmoment of my life was the day my 11th grade composition teacher asked me to stay after school.“I’m concerned”he said.“You seem unhappy. Is something bothering you?”My heart stopped.Did he know? “No,”I lied,“everything’s fine.”“Are you sure?”he pressed“Is there anything you need to talk about?”It was hard to breathe.“No,really, there’s nothing at all,”I answered.After an uncomfortable silence he said,“Well,OK, you can go. But remember if anything bothers you, you can talk to me.”“Sure,”I said,“I’ll remember.”

How could I tell a teacher that I was homosexual? I didn’t want to be. I wasn’t born homosexual. But I didn’t choose it either. I had tearfully begged God to change. But nothing had changed. I was sexually attracted to other boys.

How could I tell anyone that it hurt whenever my father said he was proud of me because I thought that if he knew he would be ashamed? How could I tell anyone that my worst fear was my mother crying if she found out? How could I tell anyone how lonely I was, how scared and how ashamed?

Today states are passing laws allowing gay marriage. Schools host days of silence promoting gay pride.Many TV shows have a stereotypical gay character.Yet, high school and college students who face homosexual temptation are just as afraid of telling their parents and their pastors as I was when I was 17.One person they are more likely to tell, however, is a friend.That means that by the time you graduate, chances are good that at least one friend will tell you he or she is gay.What can you do? What can you say?

You can lovingly share both Law and Gospel.

The Law
DON’T be dishonest.The Bible says homosexual behavior is sin.Tell your friend you hope and pray he will not give in to temptation. Pretending homosexual behavior is okay may make him feel good but it is not kindness to shut the door to Jesus’forgiveness by hiding the truth.At the same time,remember your friend may have often felt rejected.Arguing with him will make him feel that Jesus is just another person who hates gays.Tell him calmly and firmly that the Bible says homosexual behavior is sin.

DO let your friend know you are in this together because you are a sinner,too.Many kids who struggle with homosexual feelings think that Christians believe themselves to be better than everyone else. It may surprise him to learn that Christians admit they are sinners.Tell him he is not alone—we all share the problem of guilt and temptation.

The Gospel
DON’T make false promises.The Bible never says that God will take away our struggles this side of the grave, or that God will change your friend if he has enough faith. Some people who face homosexual feelings will change and be able to marry someone of the opposite sex.Many others will not.There’s no guarantee.

DO point your friend to God’s love in the Cross.Tell him Christ forgives each and every repentant sinner. Even if your friend seems unrepentant,tell him Christ wants to forgive him. Sometimes kids who struggle with homosexuality appear rebellious because they’ve given up hope that God can love them. Let him know Jesus is a friend of sinners, and that he doesn’t have to“like girls”in order for Christ to love him.The Cross paid for it all. It is not your job to change your friend.You are called to point him to the forgiveness of Jesus.

Be a Friend
DON’T be afraid to ask questions.Ask what he is afraid of, if he is lonely or what hurts him about peoples’ reactions.Questions let him know you really are interested in being his friend.

DO treat him as you did before.He’s still your friend. Loneliness is one of the biggest fears.Joking, laughing together and hanging out will let him know you care— that he has a place where he belongs. Remember how Jesus ate with tax collectors and sinners. Show him the friendship of Christ.

As for me,well, I’m still scared and lonely sometimes. God hasn’t miraculously changed my desires (though He’s always given me the power to resist). But that’s okay because I have something better than sex and someone who is there when I’m lonely.

I can stand in front of the altar and say“I am a poor miserable sinner.”It feels good to know that God knows the real me and that He responds,“For the sake of My Son, you are forgiven.”

I have His Word and His promises given to me in baptism and communion. I come back to these things again and again because they make me hungry for God’s love. It is a good hunger,full of anticipation. Sometimes I feel like a starving kid who can’t even imagine what a thanksgiving feast will taste like but can smell it cooking and knows it’s coming soon.What joy that is!

I am sad for those who do not know God’s love. I understand their needs. I know their desperation. I know that their loneliness can be like physical pain. But you have so much more to offer your friend in God’s Law and Gospel than the world can ever give. It is so much better to hunger for God’s love than to find false happiness in the gay lifestyle.